The Thing About Failure

We often feel that our goals and dreams should happen, and nothing should stand in our way. We may need to do a bit of extra work, rub elbows and network, but in the end, we will get what we want. This was my belief with becoming a school administrator. Anything that I set my mind to, I have accomplished. Why would this journey be any different?

In June 2020, I was offered an interview. I began to study everything I could to prepare. I did the interview, felt very confident with my responses, and was not offered the position. My spirit was crushed. I sobbed and felt like the ultimate failure because I just knew that I had the job.

I reached out to an upper-level administrator for career guidance and mentoring. From that meeting, I was told “I didn’t have to be so respectful.” In addition, “people on the panel want to see charisma and excitement, and you come across as too quiet...” So having manners and a quiet disposition means that I’m ill-equipped to be a leader? This person has no idea WHO I am! I took what was said very personally and felt even more unworthy.

I decided to try to get to the root of the situation and determine why I wasn’t selected. I no longer wanted to speculate nor hear any more opinions. To my surprise and encouragement, I made a strong and positive impression on the interview panel. I was in the top 2 and they chose someone who already had experience with that district. I was encouraged to keep seeking more leadership experience and expound on my data experiences. This was what I needed to hear! My confidence came back; and during the 2020-21 school year, I did the work.

I involved myself with any school committee that would align with leadership. I even used some of what I perceived as negative from the upper-level administrator to propel me forward. In April 2021, a summer assistant principal position became open, I applied, interviewed, and was offered the position. This was the crack in the door. I didn’t care that it was temporary, I was selected and hit the ground running. I handled hiring of staff, advertising the program, the logistics, listened to my supervisor’s experiences, and applied discernment.

I decided to re-apply for the district that I wanted, and I received a call to interview. I didn’t tell anyone that I had an interview scheduled because I didn’t want to be deemed even more of a failure if I didn’t get the job. On June 29, 2021, I was offered an assistant principal position.

I am still in awe that I am no longer teaching in the classroom, I am an administrator, and pursuing my dream. The door did not open for me because it was not yet time. My favorite verse is Jeremiah 29:11 and that stands true. God’s timing and the plans He has for me are beyond what I may conceive. I had to learn, prepare, and even change my mindset to be ready to receive the opportunity. I’m learning to not take everything personally, to listen with more discernment, and to adjust my ideals.

I know there are teachers who would like to become administrators. If I were to give advice, I would say the following:

1. Develop a thick skin. There are going to be times when you think you should receive a particular position, or someone will have an opposing opinion to yours. Process what is worth receiving and what has no bearing.

2. Do not have a defeatist attitude. It will get noticed and you stand a chance of never progressing within your career.

3. Are you preparing while you learn? If you are currently studying to become an administrator, please make sure that you are involved in leadership opportunities within your school. The experience matters!

4. Seek out mentors. If you can, talk to people of different gender and race who are in the position you want.

I have much to learn on this new journey, but I am filled with gratitude and ready to serve in this new role. I have appreciated the encouragement of those closest to me who knew that one no, didn’t mean I would never receive a yes.